Road trips are legit only if someone:

a) Pees’ out the window.

b) Visits the ER.

c) Doesn’t bathe the entire trip.

d) Contracts infection from not bathing. Repeats ER.

e) Punches fellow traveler after learning that he slept with his ex the week before they left on the trip.

f) Is enlightened.

g) Writes a book about said travels afterwards. It gets published.

h) No one reads it because no one gives a fuck. Get a job, Hippie.